From: Wife

Dear Husband,

In the event that you deem it necessary to the operation of your business to retain the services of a “personal assistant”, please be advised that such an arrangement will only be deemed reasonable and appropriate if executed in accordance with the following conditions:

1. Prior to engagement of said person, the need for the services and the specific tasks to be undertaken will be discussed and negotiated with Wife.
2. Any such services shall be restricted to the hours of operation of your business for the day (i.e. determined by Husband’s required presence at known work locations or between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. if Husband not scheduled to work).
3. Under no circumstances will “assistant” be used to contact Wife to schedule an “appointment” with Husband. Nor will Wife be expected to contact “assistant” to determine availability and schedule an “appointment”.
4. In the rare event that the use of Wife’s vehicle is required for your business operation, under no circumstances shall this “assistant” be given permission to drive said vehicle, with or without (especially without) the presence of Husband.
5. This “assistant” will not be used to complete any of Wife’s personal errands unless under specific request of Wife.
6. Any circumstances that will require the unaccompanied presence of Husband and “assistant” for an extended period of time, in a location not typically included* under known work locations, MUST be indicated to Wife prior to occurence. If this is not possible for some reason (e.g. catastrophic destruction of communications network), then the event must be reported to Wife within eight (8) hours or within fifteen (15) minutes of next communication with Wife, whichever is less.

   *N.B. This includes but is not limited to private residences, long road trips, environments external to business operations.

7. Under no circumstances will “assistant” be allowed to purchase items for the home (including but not limited to sheets and towels).
8. Under no circumstances will Husband accept any gift from “assistant” worth more than J$500 or the cost of a meal and a drink.
9. In the event that any additional personal services are required that involve physical contact (e.g. massage), such arrangements will be made with a third party selected by Wife.

This “assistant” will not meet any of the following preexisting exclusionary conditions:

• Be a prior sexual partner.
• Be an ex from a previous relationship.
• Be the subject of Husband’s crush.
• Be coming out of a recent breakup.
• Have demonstrated any attraction to Husband in any form (physical, emotional etc.).

Termination of the aforementioned services will be expected with immediate effect upon violation of any of the conditions listed above. Development of any of the applicable exclusionary conditions shall also be grounds for dismissal. 

Yours Sincerely,
Wife

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Originally posted as a Facebook note

I make it a habit to not regret mistakes I make in life. Regret is a waste of time, I think. Rather than regret, I tend to look back to try to understand and learn from things I have done. 

Interestingly enough, there are times when I look back and realize that even with the lessons learnt, if given the chance I would likely make the same mistake again. Usually, this is a result of acknowledging that the reasons for my actions would still be sufficient even with added knowledge.

I had that experience twice in one night this week. Two conversations. Two exes. Two loves that I would not give up for anything. I realized after talking to each of them that the reasons I fell for them in the first place are still valid and, under different circumstances (or similar shall we say), I would likely fall for them just as hard as I did.

It is interesting to think that with all my development efforts and personal growth, I am still enough of the same person that I could love the same people the same way.

The whispered words
Barely restrained
Hands drew me close
The frenzied kiss
Hungrily shared
Breath on our skin
The raging heat
Completely scorched
Bodies in an embrace
The quiet goodnight
Softly welcomed
Lips as if in a dream

Although I intended my last post as a general commentary on finding purpose and satisfaction in life, it has worked for me in unexpected ways. 

As happened last year when I put my desires out into the universe and was rewarded with a job that seemed to fit the bill, I have again seen things work out. Two weeks after writing down The Goal?, I sit here back at work, in a field I enjoy, working to the benefit of one of our country’s most significant industries.

Since last week this time, I have been employed to the Music Cluster as a Project Coordinator. What the …? Yeah, most people don’t know what that means.

The Music Cluster is a formal grouping of the Jamaican music industry formed under a funding programme for Private Sector Development. As project coordinator I am helping the cluster to implment projects in their operational plan which include the establishment of a unifying organization to continue after the formal cluster programme funding ends, the development of a website which will help to promote the Jamaican music industry, the development of a database of Jamaican music industry participants etc.

Basically it is combining my skills, talents, interests and passions into one jam-packed contract until the end of the year. No clue where it will lead but it is a further step in the right direction for me. At the end of the day I will get some good experience, learn a whole lot about the industry, make some good contacts and be that much closer to where I need to be in life.

P.S. I will likely get to do some work with the Visual and Performing Arts Cluster as well. Talk about all round exposure.

“There’s no better way to create your own prosperity than to engage yourself in something you are passionate about — and that serves others in the process.”

A camera is a tool for capturing images. Those images can be many things – frozen moments in time, representations of reality, a singular perspective. From the days when sitting for a photograph took hours, to our present day world of instant gratification, photographs are a huge part of our lives.

To me, photographs are part memory holder, part souvenir, part record-keepr, part artistic endeavour… Through them I can reflect on the past, places I have been, people I have shared my life with, things I saw or felt and thought worth trying to capture.

The most memorable times in my life have been recorded faithfully. A year spent in Europe resulted in a detailed album with annotations and captions. So what does it mean when there are gaps in my photographic record? When I feel down, I tend not to record anything. Those periods are reflected only in the images taken by others, if Ishow up at all. This is understandable.

But what about those times when I was gloriously, deliriously happy, but have no pictures of that time? The absence of images makes it seem like a hazy memory, almost as if I imagined the whole thing. How is it that having pictures, even one photograph can make an experience seem all the more real? As though I need proof that I was really there.

Maybe that is also why sometimes, when I get into a dark mood, I feel inclined (though I try really hard to not succumb) to destroy photographs. As if that simple act can clear my head, erase memories I wish I didn’t have, remove all trace of a painful experience.

But when the day comes that I can look back without pain, I often wish I did have that little glossy rectangle, its two dimensions conjuring up emotions and feelings from a mysterious intangible place.

I really don’t think
I can do this again
Will I be your lover?
Or perhaps just a friend?
Should I stay right here
Or try to walk away?
Maybe block you out
Or hear what you say
I want you to be there
But it’s getting too hard
Maybe I will have to
Be friends from afar

The strong one
Who doesn’t need help
Who gets the job done
Who supports you
Who lends a hand
Is struggling, is scared
And needs someone strong

A simple thought
Triggers the flood
Opens the gates
Of my eyes
The salty stream
Clouds my sight
Mars the face
Of my heart
This quiet eruption
Brings no release
Drains the life
Of my soul

I’m being torn apart
By  internal collisions 
Conflicts of constructs
Messing with my head
Things I should do
Against what I need
Words left unsaid
Screaming out inside
Wanting to reach out
Or protecting myself
Knowing what I feel
While questioning all
Holding it together
While falling apart
My insides are messy
My head hates my heart