Sometimes you have to give people a second chance because you never know, they might surprise you. Sometimes what people allow you to see on the outside doesn’t really give a true picture of them on the inside.

Yesterday afternoon I got an email from a guy at work asking me out to lunch for today. I was a little surprised because he never really talks to me much, so I asked him “Why?”. His email in response was surprisingly detailed and articulate. Now this may seem unkind to say but he is generally pretty goofy. So since he seemed to know why he was inviting me out to lunch for the first time ever in 1 1/2 years (and it didn’t seem there were any romantic inclinations) I decided to agree to it and give him a chance, even though I know most people in the office would have found it just hilarious.

We went to lunch and though he is still a goof, the conversation was actually pretty interesting and entertaining. We talked about the death of the Pope and the likelihood of accidents in small planes. All in all I realized I’d been right to not write him off completely as many people have done in the past. He is actually a sweet guy, and has a bit more going on in his head than he lets on to those around him. So whereas I don’t think we will necessarily become good friends, I learnt a lot about him and the way that people jump to judgement.

We need to be careful about the way that we put people into little boxes when we meet them. Most of us (myself included) have a persona we adopt that does not necessarily reflect our true being. This happens for several reasons - fear, insecurity, self-preservation, appropriateness, trying to fit in, respect for others, maintaining a status quo etc. As we come across people in life, we need to recognize that the person we meet initially is in all likelihood the person they want us to see for whatever reason. Don’t assume that you know all there is to know, because human beings are complex beings with many intricate layers that they may not even understand themselves. So be open and give people a chance to be themselves before you judge them.