In search of…
…a replacement best friend. Must be willing to start in an entry-level position, with an eye to promotion in the future.
Job responsibilities:
- provide a shoulder to cry on in times of need
- be a constructive sounding board for all my ideas weird or otherwise
- celebratory sidekick for all the joyous wacky moments
This job description may be changed following agreement by both parties.
Job benefits you will receive:
- loyal friend for life
- health benefits from the amounts of laughter
- psychological benefits from the access to an outlet for your joys and sorrows
- financial benefits from having someone to split a lunch with
- social benefits of having good company on outings of all kinds
Qualifications:
- Life experience beyond school
- An open-mind to facilitate varied discussions
- At least one hobby that doesn’t include eating, sleeping, watching TV or current occupation
- Self-confidence in own abilities
- Be resident in Jamaica or willing to travel
- Access to internet (especially if not in Jamaica)
Open to:
- Males - MUST be single (no girlfriend/boyfriend, fiancee, wife, undefined friend to come hunt me down), homosexuality is optional but preference will be given (in order to avoid the possible sexual tension)
- Female - MUST not be a lesbian (see reason above for homosexual males)
- Imaginary - I am an equal-opportunity friend who does not discriminate on the basis of existence
All applications must be submitted with at least two (2) references.
