How to tell your future
Humans have this insane fascination with knowing what is going to occur in their future. I just watched a segment on “Ripley’s Believe it or Not!” featuring this woman who claims to tell people’s future by reading their… wait for it… butts!! That’s right, according to her she was boasting at a party about being able to read anything when she was promptly challenged by some guy to read his butt. She discovered she had a “talent“.
So here’s the scoop, butt reading is apparently very similar to palm reading, based on the lines and shapes. It seems your left cheek contains the secrets to your future and the right cheek holds your past. Can’t you just see these lines crawling their way over from left to right as time goes by. *Shudder* Creeeeepy. Continuing they explain that career lines are at the top, love lines are under the cheek and then the life lines are “down the middle”. 
Yah, okay.
This sparked my interest in trying to remember some of the other futuristic methods. Below is the list I came up with it after some quick research on Google:
- Dream interpretation - stems from the belief that our dreams contain keys to the future
- Astrology - studying the effects of the Zodiac on our lives
- Palmistry - studying the lines on one’s palms
- Tea leaves - studying the shapes left by the tea leaves left in the cup
- Coffee grinds - same as above but using the coffee grinds left behind
- Tarot cards - telling fortunes with a special deck of 78 cards
- Numerology - using numbers in dates, names etc to tell the future
- Crystallomancy - divining by gazing into a crystal ball
- Hepatoscopy - a form of divination using the internal organs of sacrificed animals
- Ouija boards - Ancient Egyptian luck boards used to get the answers to questions
- Mah-jongg - a variation on a classical Chinese game with a deck of cards similar to Tarot
- Phrenology - the shape of our heads, with all the lumps and bumps
- Candle drippings - I can only assume the shapes formed are the key
- Navel watching - Not sure what that’s about but can’t be any worse than reading butts
It amazes me that rather than focusing on the present happenings in their life and taking control, many people would rather believe that the course of their lives is pre-destined. Hopefully, in their drive to learn the future they don’t miss out on the good stuff happening now.
