Ok, first order of business - Where the hell have I been these last several days?? Well I will outline the telecommunications crisis that has occurred (and is still occurring) chez moi:

• Thursday, November 10, somewhere around 2pm
  Setting the stage for culprit #1, the rain begins.
• Thursday, November 10, about 5 minutes later
  The sky opens and a storm from nowhere pours down outside my house including thunder and lightning.
• Thursday, November 10, after about 1/2 hour
  Enter culprit #1 - A sound like an explosion inside my room, my eyes register a flash as everything around me brightens and then everything goes dark. As my dogs burst into a fit of barking I realize it was thunder accompanying what must have been a nearby lightning strike. Further investigations reveal a witness in the form of my helper who apparently saw the “big ball of fire” when the lightning hit a transformer.
• Thursday, November 10, approximately 10:30pm
  JPS (on the phone) confirms they have a team working on the problem and the power should be back that night though no estimate is available.
• Friday, November 11, 6ish in the morning
  I awake to see that the power has been restored (yay!!) so after my breakfast I try to jump online. No luck - “Network cable unplugged”. So I go to check the DSL modem to see a little blck box with no lights. Not a good sign. I attempt restarting, resetting but to no avail. I decide to check the phone lines –> BINGO!
• Friday, November 11, about 6:45am
  I have discovered that all 4 lines in the house have a problem:
  • #1 - Line has static and unable to make or receive calls
  • #2 - Completely dead
  • #3 - Completely dead
  • #4 - Line can make and receive calls but too much static on line to hear
• Friday, November 11, 7ish
  Call placed to JPS where very pleasant customer service lady takes the info on the 4 lines including that they are at the same premises.
• Friday, November 11, about 4pm
  Call placed to JPS (after waiting all day) to inquire whether report been assigned and when to expect someone. A smiling agent says she cannot say but she will put a reminder on the report.
• Friday, November 11, about 6pm
  Called placed to private phone technician who says he will come by on Sunday in case C & W does not show.
• Saturday, November 12 ALL DAY
  I go about my business enjoying my birthday. No way in hell am I sitting around waiting for C & W. No clue whether they showed up or not.
• Sunday, November 13, approximately 11am
  A call to JPS reveals that ONE of the 4 line reports has been assigned. :-S The lovely agent says she will try to see if she can get the other 3 assigned to the same person.
• Sunday, November 13, 2ish in the afternoon
  Phone tech (not C & W) shows up. Discovers that essentially a power surge from the lightning must have fried some little bolt thingies (and the DSL modem). Informs me that the lines are now working but I should wait till he replaces those things to use it. No problem.
• Sunday, November 13, 5:30pm
  Phones finally fixed. Yippee!!

N.B. This is not the end of the saga unfortunately. I will elaborate tomorrow but let’s just say I am using dialup right now ARRGH!