Sometimes
I get afraid
Afraid to be alone
Yet afraid of company
Don’t want to go home
But afraid to stay here
I’m afraid of the silence
And of the noisy
thoughts in my head
Worried that I will forget
But scared of what I remember
I see you but I can’t look
Because I get afraid

• Wednesday, November 16, 2ish
  C & W shows up - but not to fix the DSL (which apparently has not yet been reported). No, this guy was here to work on the report that was made on Friday morning. Are you kidding me?!?! 5 days later?? and on top of it he had been assigned only 1 of the 4 lines. So of course, he left without doing much because the line he was assigned was seemingly working right now.
• Wednesday, November 16, 3pm
  Phone tech guy shows up and gets the 2 now-dead lines back up and running. Says he still hears no DSL.
• Wednesday, November 16, 4:15pm
  Phone tech guy has just left but it seems the 2 lines are still switched. :-S Ok, getting tired of this. He says he will come back. Apparently the master jacks are all fine but the connections for the extensions keep getting screwed up.
• Wednesday, November 16, 4:45pm
  Phone tech guy is back. This time it’s a long process to check each and every room to see which extensions are mixed up. He fiddles and eventually leaves (about 6:15ish) having corrected 3 or 4 rooms and diagnosed that there is one cable that seems to be shorting out and causing a problem. He is due to return in the morning. Sigh. And still no DSL.

Dans mes rêves,
c’est toi que je vois
Doucement m’embrassant,
c’est toujours toi

Quand je ferme mes yeux,
j’entends ta voix
Chansons de l’amour,
c’est toujours toi

Vous volez mes pensées,
contre toute ma foi
N’importe ce que je fais
c’est toujours toi

The continuation of our telecoms mystery:

• Sunday, November 13, 6pm
  We now discover that all the cordless phones in the house have been fried by the aforementioned lightning…
• Sunday, November 13, 6:15pm
  … as well as the modems that were still connected so even dial-up will be a problem (except for the one in my PC which was not connected)
• Monday, November 14, lunchtime
  New discovery - 2 of the lines have been switched so the wrong extensions are ringing. Unfortunately (and not too surprisingly) it’s the main line for the house switched with the one only used for the internet.
• Monday, November 14, just after lunchtime
  Pops comes home with a modem on a for loan - to test - to purchase basis. 3 hours later the modem is still not working.
• Tuesday, November 15, post-lunchtime
  Pops returns with another modem and this one works. So Bianca is again live by about 4pm. Finally!! The phone tech is supposed to return to re-switch the switched lines.
• Tuesday, November 15, post-pan
  Bianca returns home to hear the strange tale - no DSL and 2 lines dead!! Apparently, the phone tech came by and returned the lines to their normal state and all was well. When Pops then went to reconnect the DSL to the correct jack, he discovered it wasn’t working (the DSL not the phone). When he tried to call C & W it turns out the phone was dead. The phone tech returned only to diagnose a complete lack of DSL signal on the line both inside and outside the house (tho C & W says all is well on their end). It also turned out the the mysterious phone duppy has decided to launch its attack by killing 2 of the lines for no reason the phone tech can identify. Of as expected these are the 2 main lines for the house.
• Tuesday, November 15, 11ish in the night
  Bianca resorts to plugging back in her modem and using dial-up to get online. Sigh. Better than nothing.
• Wednesday, November 16, now
  Currently waiting to see or hear from both the phone tech and C & W.

   Gold
This is what we value, held dear to our hearts
Or is it more yellow, for the cowardly way we live
We don’t know what it truly means to be rich

   Green
Our souls are stained through our envy
Where’s mine? We declare as we take our right
We don’t recognize what we already have

   Black
Such are the thoughts and hearts of some of ours
Who have lost their way or never found it
It seems they have forgotten how to love

and yet…

   Gold
This is the sunshine, the rays that light our isle
Greeting us all year, we are smiled on from above
Blessed are we that we should be this rich

   Green
The towering hills still covered in trees
Fields of goodness from which we can feast
Truly this is an amazing gift that we have

   Black
For our people whose skin comes in all shades
The strength that has brought us this far
This will always be the land that I love

Ok, first order of business - Where the hell have I been these last several days?? Well I will outline the telecommunications crisis that has occurred (and is still occurring) chez moi:

• Thursday, November 10, somewhere around 2pm
  Setting the stage for culprit #1, the rain begins.
• Thursday, November 10, about 5 minutes later
  The sky opens and a storm from nowhere pours down outside my house including thunder and lightning.
• Thursday, November 10, after about 1/2 hour
  Enter culprit #1 - A sound like an explosion inside my room, my eyes register a flash as everything around me brightens and then everything goes dark. As my dogs burst into a fit of barking I realize it was thunder accompanying what must have been a nearby lightning strike. Further investigations reveal a witness in the form of my helper who apparently saw the “big ball of fire” when the lightning hit a transformer.
• Thursday, November 10, approximately 10:30pm
  JPS (on the phone) confirms they have a team working on the problem and the power should be back that night though no estimate is available.
• Friday, November 11, 6ish in the morning
  I awake to see that the power has been restored (yay!!) so after my breakfast I try to jump online. No luck - “Network cable unplugged”. So I go to check the DSL modem to see a little blck box with no lights. Not a good sign. I attempt restarting, resetting but to no avail. I decide to check the phone lines –> BINGO!
• Friday, November 11, about 6:45am
  I have discovered that all 4 lines in the house have a problem:
  • #1 - Line has static and unable to make or receive calls
  • #2 - Completely dead
  • #3 - Completely dead
  • #4 - Line can make and receive calls but too much static on line to hear
• Friday, November 11, 7ish
  Call placed to JPS where very pleasant customer service lady takes the info on the 4 lines including that they are at the same premises.
• Friday, November 11, about 4pm
  Call placed to JPS (after waiting all day) to inquire whether report been assigned and when to expect someone. A smiling agent says she cannot say but she will put a reminder on the report.
• Friday, November 11, about 6pm
  Called placed to private phone technician who says he will come by on Sunday in case C & W does not show.
• Saturday, November 12 ALL DAY
  I go about my business enjoying my birthday. No way in hell am I sitting around waiting for C & W. No clue whether they showed up or not.
• Sunday, November 13, approximately 11am
  A call to JPS reveals that ONE of the 4 line reports has been assigned. :-S The lovely agent says she will try to see if she can get the other 3 assigned to the same person.
• Sunday, November 13, 2ish in the afternoon
  Phone tech (not C & W) shows up. Discovers that essentially a power surge from the lightning must have fried some little bolt thingies (and the DSL modem). Informs me that the lines are now working but I should wait till he replaces those things to use it. No problem.
• Sunday, November 13, 5:30pm
  Phones finally fixed. Yippee!!

N.B. This is not the end of the saga unfortunately. I will elaborate tomorrow but let’s just say I am using dialup right now ARRGH!

I have returned from my storm-induced (aided and abetted by JPS and C&W) exile from cyber-space. I will update shortly.

From the silent depth,
Deeper than my words,
One word was all -
All it took to understand.
Understanding long denied,
Denial of a hard truth,
True enough to bring back pain.
Painful memories of words,
Worded so hatefully.
Hate? Returned for my love?
Loving eyes with tears,
Crying for a heart’s loss,
Lost, now letting go.
Gone with the words,
One word remains -
Good bye.

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.

Great lessons for life, originally seen at http://shambunr.blogspot.com/ which was down when I checked today (good thing I saved it).

I read today that subsequent to voicing her strong opinions on the Jah Cure rape issue, a female member of staff at IRIE FM received threatening phone calls from associates of the singer. As a result the radio station banned his recent hit “True Reflections”. This incensed his supporters who made several more such calls, apparently with death threats in an attempt to compel the station to play more of his songs. IRIE FM has responded by banning ALL of Jah Cure’s music from their airwaves.

I salute the young lady for being strong enough to publicly voice her views and the station for standing behind her and the other staff members that have been threatened. This is the kind of behaviour that should not be tolerated. Unfortunately, too many lack the strength to stand up against threats.