Red, green, and yellow tape
The following is both anecdotal and instructional. Should you find yourself needing to clear a package sent with, let us say UPS, head out to the airport. When you get there and find the yellow and green doors, take heed - you will need to:
- Present waybill to person at door *show ID
- Go to window #2, present waybill *show ID
- Wait while gentleman leafs through folder after folder having tried the initials of you first name, middle name, title and last name to find your document.
- Pay storage fees, handling, fees, processing fees
- Take documents to security at warehouse door so she can take one part
- Purchase 2 customs forms ($30J each) at window #3
- Fill out forms following instructions posted on wall
- Take documents to customs officer
- (Optional) Take documents to UPS agent at window #1 to amend name if incorrectly spelt or (God forbid!) abbreviated *show ID
- (Optional) Take amendment document to customs officer to sign *show ID
- (Optional) Take amendment document to customs supervisor for approval
- (Optional) Take documents to person at door to get number *show ID
- (Optional) Pay amendment fee ($600J) at cashier *show ID
- Take documents back to customs officer *show ID
- Take documents back to security guard at warehouse door
- Wait while she looks for part she took earlier and writes off some information *show ID
- Wait for package to be found in warehouse
- Collect package
- Take package and documents to new customs officer for examination *show ID
- Feign surprise when your package has been opened and is covered in dirty fingerprints
- Take documents and package to window #1 to receive gate pass
- Take documents and package to person at door *show ID
- Escape with your sanity and temper barely intact
Now the situation described above is in the case of no duties applied upon examination. Should your goods be deemed dutiable, I suspect you will need to follow steps 1 - 20, then insert steps 10, 12, 13, 14 and then continue with steps 21 - 23. I have also assumed there is no one else waiting in the room there with you so there are no crowds and noise to deal with. Good luck!
Not even funny
