Keep small, specialized, lean and flexible so you can change rapidly whenever opportunity strikes.

Well in the world of business perhaps, but in human terms over-specialization is a little hazardous. Especially with the world changing as quickly as it does now. A ready example is our young people who are heralded into specialties as early as 4th form and continue to get even more specialized as the school years pass.

Most important takeaway from this rule is to keep oneself prepared for change. This really means reading around your subject and reading outside your subject so that as the world changes you are cognizant of those changes and ready to take advantage of them.

Learn how to handle rejection, failure and persistent frustration and no obstacle will be your equal.

There’s a saying that says something like “those who never fail have never tried”. In order to succeed, you will have failures. Those people who are extremely successful have usually tried many things and failed many times.

Failure allows you to know what works and what doesn’t, what you’re good at and what you’re not, what you like and what you don’t. And this is a good thing. This is what will take you closer to your goal. If you want to do something you’re good at and love doing then you will most likely need to try several things in order to identify what that is.

Failure is, in fact, a valuable learning tool. Each time you fail, there is a lesson to be learnt. So why not, instead of focusing on the fact that you failed, focus on what the failure can teach you.

Progress is more readily achieved when a person accentuates the positive rather than the negative.

In writings on training, there is often talk of “positive reinforcement”. The findings are that changes in behaviour are effected more quickly and have more lasting effects when the desired behaviour is rewarded rather than the undesired behaviour punished.

We work the same way. And if we are trying to change ourselves or do something we can reward ourselves for the positives and the things done right instead of beating ourselves up over what we did wrong. Not that we ignore the negatives, just don’t make that the focus.

Anyone who has sat through a job evaluation can see the benefit of this. If your boss sat there and when on and on about all the things you did wrong, would you really be that motivated to improve. Those are the evaluations that get people depressed. More encouraging is the sandwich approach where some positives are discussed first, then the negatives, then finish with the positives.

An example that was given was about trying to change your eating habits to be more healthy. If you have some small good habit, e.g. liking to eat fruit, then put more focus on that rather than spending all your energies on trying to cut back on all the sweets. The theory being that the positive behaviours will outweigh the negative.

There are lots of ways this rule could be applied, so look for the positives in your life and celebrate those.

Create belief in yourself by doing that which you desire once.

So the last one may have left you wondering “what if you don’t believe?” Well, although it may sound a little contradictory, the way to create belief may be to just do it. If you have even a small success then you know you can do it and the only thing stopping you from doing it again is some commitment. Of course, the doubtful will now say “but if I don’t believe I can do it, then won’t I fail?” and so begins the seemingly vicious circle.

This is where we go back to some of the “rules” we already covered - namely taking small steps and lowering the “barrier”. While trying to achieve a large task perfectly may seem crazy, imagine yourself attempting the small first step towards it. And maybe you won’t do it perfectly but you may do it. And after that, you can say to yourself “well, I was able to do that so let me try to do again but better this time”.

Babies seem to instinctively know this one. They don’t know in the beginning that they will be able to walk. But one day they try to take a step and they kinda make it then fall. So what do they do, they try it again and again. Then they get to two steps. Before you know it, they have become a crazy running toddler being chased by grown-ups. So go convince yourself that you can do it, whatever it is.

All personal breakthroughs begin with belief in yourself.

I’m sure we all have examples of parents who are forever proclaiming just how amazing/special/brilliant/talented their children are. These parents are actually practising the application of this rule, many of them without even realizing it. Many of those children will in fact grow up to be extremely good at something. For a rare few, they may have had some vast amount of natural innate talent, but for many it was the parents’ belief in them that brought about the nurturing and support for the development of skills and abilities.

That belief creates the environment for growth. Yet so many of us have trouble believing in ourselves and then exclaim in despair that nothing good ever happens for us, or what we try never works. The people who excel in life all believe very highly in themselves (not that they are necessarily boastful). They believe that they can do and will do, often without needing anyone else to support that belief.

How many times have you tried to do something and failed and then realized that deep down you never really thought you would be able to do it? Try this approach next time and though you might not be perfect, you just might surprise yourself.

Strive for excellence not perfection.

Somehow this was a lesson I learnt early on in life, much to the confusion of those around me. I realized on my own that by “settling” for something lower than perfection I was in fact able to get much more done. This is not the same thing as doing just enough to get by, however - I was still pretty interested in excelling. But somewhere along the line I decided that my definition of excelling meant working to my standard and not someone else’s.

As a competitive swimmer, my goal was always to better my times. A medal was a bonus but not the most important thing to me. My best and most memorable race had me swimming in a heat by myself (some administrative error where they didn’t realize till just before the race that the other swimmers had not turned up). So there I was with 400M to swim with no way of knowing how fast the swimmers in the next heat would be. All I could do was swim my best swim. And I did. I came out of the pool having swum a better time than I had ever done for that length swim. Did I get a medal? No. But I felt great about my time.

Perfection is an ideal drilled into people’s heads by cliches like “practice makes perfect”. The truth is, practice makes better. The more you do most things, the better you become but you may never reach perfect. In fact, for many it is this insurmountable obstacle of Perfect that keeps them from trying because they know they won’t reach it.

This rule goes hand in hand with Golden Rule #2, because your life may never be perfect but you can make it as good as you can by continually improving.

Add value to people’s lives and you will reap many rewards.

So many people and companies claim that this is their purpose - to add value to someone else’s life. But a careful (or not so careful) analysis often finds them wanting. Though they make this statement perhaps in their mission statement or values in the case of companies, their behaviour and standards reflect the reality - their focus is on their profits.

Little do they realize that focusing on the value they provide would in fact garner them even greater profits, especially in a world where customers have become so accustomed to the other side. Remembering that their purpose is to provide value would force them to evaluate each action and decision to see whether it adds additional value or at least does not reduce the value currently being provided. Of course, the argument could be that the profits are adding value to the lives of the stockholders, but then greater profits would add greater value so perhaps focusing on the value to customers would eventually increase the value provided to those stockholders.
In the case of individuals, so many people don’t really know what they are about. And suggesting that one focus on adding value to someone else’s life would meet with much consternation from those people that feel they don’t yet have enough value in their own life.

A story was written recently in the Jamaica Gleaner (I can’t remember which day and couldn’t find it online), about a man who has taken this rule as a way of life. He routinely provides to people in his community, money to kids for school, food to those that are hungry.  He does this simply to help them improve their lives and he reaps it all back. His business continues to run and support him, and he can see the positive results of his works. Could he have more money by not giving stuff away? Perhaps but his life is full and he is rewarded everyday.

The key to personal and financial success is to do something you’re good at and love doing.

Anyone that knows me reasonably well knows where I stand on this one. While you may be able to achieve some amount of financial “success” doing something you hate the personal side of it will be severely weakened. When you do what you love and are good at, you bring a passion and energy to it that spurs you to excel because you care. You will find yourself thinking about it when you’re doing other things, or even trying to figure out how to link those other things to what you love. So not only will you be happier but you will be far more productive. And that in itself could lead to even greater financial success.

So many people get locked into a job (not even a career) from an early age for a variety of reasons - it sounded good, they had “the subjects”, they got in, their parents did it, their friends were doing it, etc. Many of those same people have interests that have nothing to do with their work and seeing them in those activities you can see the difference in their energy. The same people who have to force themselves to work in the morning and then slog through their day, are bubbling over with enthusiasm as they devote themselves to their REAL interests.

At the suggestion that they follow their heart, they are often faced with a choice between two difficult alternatives: a future filled with their current misery or what feels like abandoning wasted time and starting all over. Though a difficult choice, those that have the courage to choose the latter end up more satisfied. Though the financial success may take a while (depending on the field), the passion and skill they bring will usually lead them in the right direction.

True security is found by committing yourself to improving one aspect of your life each day.

Wow, now that’s something people need to learn. If you take this approach then it becomes difficult to complain. After all your life today would be better than it was yesterday and that’s great. Too often we hear people complain about their life and how they wish things were different/better etc. But small steps add up so if they tried each day for some little improvement then their life would be better.

So where to start? Well you can always start with the closest - yourself. I have tried over the years to improve myself (not to someone else’s standard though) and I can definitely say that I am a different, better stronger person for it. I would be a little worried if I had remained the same person for decades. But so many people put no thought into who they are and whether they are who they want to be.

Or what about your health? Again small steps. Those people who try to do the crash diet thing usually have the hardest time because they are trying to dramatically change a lot of things all at once. If instead they focused on changing one small thing each day so that each day they ate healthier than the day before… hmm, the possibilities.

This rule has profound implications. Imagine someone who successfully improved their life in some way every day of their life. What a life that would be. Imagine what your life could be.

You are responsible for the happiness and success within your life.

Sounds simple enough, but this is a basic premise of life that people tend to forget. Humans seem to prefer to attribute blame or praise on other people or things for all sorts of events in their lives: “he made me so angry”, “you make me happy” and so on. This is not to say that people don’t contribute, obviously they do. But the control is not theirs.

You have within yourself the power to make your life the way you want it. Think of someone you know who always seems happy with their life. If you ask them about it, it is unlikely that they will claim to have had a perfect life. Everyone has setbacks, meets obstacles, encounters frustrating people but the difference between them and most people is that they recognize that they control what they make of all of it.

Anyone who has diligently read through this blog will remember my choice theory. Greeted by grumpy customer service agent? Don’t let it ruin your day. You can choose to react however you want.

As for success, well, that is definitely not controlled by other people. You have chosen to be where you are, so if you are not successful then maybe you need to evaluate what you are doing to prevent it, or what you are not doing to encourage success. We choose our path though we may not choose our circumstances. We all know at least one person who managed despite their “circumstances” to move themselves up towards their dreams of success.

So the next time you think about how much happier you could be if… or how you would be successful when… take a moment and remind yourself that you have a choice.