Alex Shalman has a post today on the difference between honesty and truthfulness. In it he says that honesty is defined as “truthful; sincere; not lying or cheating” and truthfulness is “corresponding to reality; true”. So what does that mean? Aren’t those the same thing? He points out that

“honesty and truthfulness are two distinct terms, and honesty is only the proper choice if it is upholding truthfulness at the same time. When honesty goes against truthfulness, it takes away from the essence of who you are, and serves as a hindrance in your personal growth.”

Hmm, ok. He explains this further by saying that “while honesty is the act of not lieing, truthfulness involves upholding a deeper level truth, even if it takes some lying to make it work”.

When you stop to think about it, this is often seen with the practice of white lies. They are lies, albeit small ones, usually done when the truth is deemed to be more harmful. Though it seems trivial protecting someone’s feelings can be part of a greater truth such as developing their self esteem, for example. Protecting a child’s innocence is another reason people often stretch the truth a little.

This is an interesting way of looking at the issue of truth in relationships, and makes the case for evaluating whether you want honesty or truthfulness in your life.