I had an interesting conversation today with someone about how to deal with people from your past, more specifically people who have hurt you.

His feeling was that you have no further dealings with them, though you may (once they are forgiven) get to a point where you can say hi and bye. My theory is that so long as you cannot interact normally with that person, your “relationship” with them will always be about the past. They will always be “that” person that did you wrong which is why you cannot speak to them or be around them.

I think that at some point when you are past the hurt and the anger, you have to put that aside and give yourself a chance to re-evaluate whether this person can add value to your life. If they cannot then go ahead and nix any future relationship. If they can however, take your time and slowly let them be a part of your life again.

Every time I think I have moved far enough away from you, I feel a tiny tug, from a string yet to be cut, thin and frayed but holding on, joining me to these random glimpses of the person I once loved.

An inner child
seeking approval
watches to see if you’re looking
only to realize that
the only eyes worth feeling
are those looking from inside

Even though I did
what only a few others could
Even though it worked out
in the end as I knew it would
Even though I was here
with nowhere else to go
Even though it seemed easy
for me to keep giving a show
Even though it was stress
not knowing what would come next
Even though it was pain
putting my wrists to the test
Even though I loved
belonging to all and everywhere
Even though I hated
feeling like part of nowhere
Even though it was tiring
to use up my days off
Even though I reminded
myself that this is what I love
Even though I offered
to turn into a work horse
Even though I was warned
I’d be taken for granted of course
Even though noone thought
to say thanks for giving in my own way
Even though I’m saying it to me
I thought that I’d still say

You’re welcome

Want to really sock it to a procrastinator? Use their tactics against them.

1. Get them to ask you to do something important.
2. Forget to do it.
3. When they remind you, admit you forgot and promise to get it done immediately.
4. Tell them it’s done.
5. When they subsequently point out it’s still not done admit you delegated it to someone else who messed up and promise to get it done immediately.
6. Come up with several reasons why your doing it would not have worked before and remind them you’re doing them a favour.
7. Tell them it’s done.
8. When they still don’t get the desired results, give them the information to check for themselves to see that it’s done.
9. Remind them that it was done.
10. When they ask you to help get the needed results, tell them you have spent enough time on this already and cannot do anything more.

So went my attempt to get an academic reference.