Everybody has had those moments when their gut, instead of their head, made a decision for them. Maybe you met someone and decided instantly you didn’t like them, or you used your intuition to choose a university to attend.

Well, this article from Science Blog sheds a little light on the matter of gut feelings. Apparently researchers at Leeds University say that we should take these hunches seriously. They have discovered that “intuition is the result of the way our brains store, process and retrieve information on a subconscious level and so is a real psychological phenomenon. [...] Intuition is the brain drawing on past experiences and external cues to make a decision – but one that happens so fast the reaction is at a non-conscious level. All we’re aware of is a general feeling that something is right or wrong.”

Of course, don’t go thinking that this means you should always go with your gut. But there is enough evidence to suggest that you might want to consider what it’s telling you, especially if your detailed analysis was leading you in another direction.

My gut tells me this makes sense.

Marc over at MarcandAngel put forth this list of things in life that we all have to figure out for ourselves. Though there is a lot you can learn from other people, from reading and observing life, some things you really just have to work out for yourself. It’s actually just part of what life is.

1. Love – Nobody can teach you this one. Everybody’s experience of love is different so you have to learn the rules for yourself.
2. Friendship – We all spend our lives working out exactly who our friends are, making new ones, distancing ourselves from the failed friendships.
3. Loss – One of the hardest things in life is learning how to grieve in your own way. But trying to force it will only make it worse and harder for it to go away.
4. The Short vs. Long Catch-22 – Though it is difficult to predict the future, our actions today can impact on tomorrow. Sometimes we need to sacrifice for the bigger picture.
5. Self-Forgiveness – Our hardest critic is usually ourselves. We beat ourselves up for mistakes everyone else has long forgotten. Learning to forgive ourselves is a vital skill.
6. Life Balance – Extremes are not usually a good thing, at least not in the long run. Balance (whether in food, work etc.) is an ideal sought by many to provide the best route to a healthy life.
7. Responsibility and Independence – Learning this one is a major part of growing up. At some point in our lives we all face those moments when we are forced to realize this.
8. Character Identity – The big question of “Who am I?” haunts some people for years into their adulthood. The search for their real self is a journey they have to make for themselves.
9. Betrayal – There is no easy way to prepare for this, and many people may never experience it, but those who do have to find a way to get past it without letting the hurt control them.
10. Happiness and Success – As Marc put it, “happiness is doing what you love, and success is excelling at doing what you love“. We each have to figure out for ourselves what it is that we love and how to do it, and then do it to the best of our ability.

Big lottery news in the U.S. over the weekend - a couple walked away with a jackpot of $164 million, the 5th largest ever I believe.
This couple had been living in a trailer, the husband had been working a couple states away for the last 20 years so they only saw each other for maybe one weekend every few months. For them the biggest changes will be to their immediate circumstances - he quit his job, they want to buy a piece of land and build a house and they will each get a car (him a GMC truck, her a Mercedes). After that they talked about helping their kids and grandkids, and their church.

Hearing these stories always makes you think, what would you do if you won that kind of money?

They say that the clothes make the man. So what happens when you are given no choice about what to wear?

Schools often have a grand debate if they are attempting to make the transition from no uniforms to wearing uniforms. The common argument is about taking away the individuality of the children, especially if it involves teenagers. The teen years are an important time in identity definition, but there is something to be said, I suppose, for removing the focus from the “superficial” to facilitate better focus on education.

As people get older, the uniform arguments focus more on the organization, presenting a common identity and brand, etc etc. But for many people it boils down to the same removal of individuality. So the organization risks ending up with a cadre of disenfranchised oppressed employees.

So what do you do when you are forced to wear a uniform? When you get up in the mornings and feel physical repulsion to the clothes you have to put on? When you feel embarassed to be seen by anyone you know? When you try to hide your clothes from view the best you can?…

…

…

Oh, sorry, hope you didn’t think I actually had an answer to this one.

Peter over at Pick the Brain wrote fascinating article on how to tell if you have settled, be it in a relationship, a job, or anything else in life.

1. You Wish The Time Away - If you’re always watching the clock, counting down to the next break, you probably don’t love what you’re in. Otherwise you would be wishing for more time to spend.
2. You Find It Hard to Wake Up in the Morning - If you wake up dreading the day ahead, you are probably not chasing your dreams.
3. You Dream of a Completely Different Life - If your daydreams never involve elements of your present reality, you may be getting a clue to your true desires.
4. You Often Get Jealous - Wishing you were living someone else’s life is not a good sign.
5. You Constantly Feel the Need to Escape - If you are filling much of your free time with escapist activities (including but not limited to alcohol, television, movies), you need to think about what you are trying to escape from.

So what do you do if you have settled? Well he suggests, quoting from Steve Jobs who had given a speech that inspired this article, “if you haven’t found it yet, keep looking…. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.”

In a post I wrote a couple years ago, Celebrate the Good Times, I wrote about celebrating the little things in life. This morning I came across an article on marcandangel.com about 10 things that most people celebrate subconsciously. It really hit home because some of these are things I know I have celebrated quietly to myself.

• Making the Yellow Light – Who doesn’t rejoice a little over this one? Even going so far as to look behind you to see how many other cars (if any) made it with you.
• Lunch Time – Since I was a child I have always looked forward to break-time, recess, lunch time. Maybe it really is just built in.
• Friday Afternoon – TGIF, nuff said!
• Getting Things Done – Just finishing even one of things on a “to-do list” brings a little smile, even if just inwardly.

Looking forward to tomorrow anyone?

I’m sure all of you can think of at least one person you know who is always trying to come across as smart and usually failing. They end up appearing arrogant, pushy or even stupid sometimes. This great article “6 ways to appear smarter” over at Productivity501 lists some great ways to seem smarter. Share it with somebody or use the tips yourself to give yourself a boost.

1. Ask More Questions - Rather than telling people what you know, ask (intelligent) questions. This will make you look teachable (a valuable quality in intelligent people).
2. Be the Last to Speak - Letting others talk first allows you to refine your thoughts, even summarizing the previous discussion.
3. Cite your Sources - This will make you seem a lot more credible, instead of making people think that you are making things up or talking out your ass.
4. Enjoy the Arts - In this pop culture dominated world, diverse cultural interests can make you seem smart (so long as you are not flaunting it).
5. Take a Contrary View - Rather than just going with the flow, having independent thoughts can make you look very intelligent as someone who actually thought the issue through.
6. Carry “Smart” Reading Material - This one is all about managing perceptions, though obviously you should be reading smart stuff. But people will think you are smart if they see you reading smart.

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Do you have a career? Or just a job? A lot of people don’t think about it. When asked what they do, they will say ‘I’m … an insurance adjuster, a computer programmer, a whatever. With the exception of those rare few of us who have always dreamed of being something specific, many of us just fell into something and ended up with a job rather than a career.

What’s the difference? Well, in a recent article called A Guide to Quitting Your Job (no I don’t have any plans right now guys (not yet at least), just reading widely ), John Wesley of Pick the Brain wrote:

A job is just work. You might like it, you might not, but you do it for the money and it has no connection to your personal identity. If you lost your job, you might be upset but you’d get over it when you found a replacement.

A career is inseparable from who you are and who you want to be. A person with a job is collecting a paycheck. A person with a career is working towards a dream.

For those people who identify that they have a job and not a career, and want a career instead of just a job, he identifies two major steps to take care of before making the leap out of your job:

1. Identify the career you want by following your passion. By this he means “finding the place where your passions and aptitudes intersect with valuable labor” to identify a career that is both personally satisfying and valuable to others.
2. Build your resume and network. The way to do this is to do things that prove your ability and commitment and then share them with others who have an interest so you can build valuable relationships.

He closes with an important thought:

Your work shouldn’t be something you tolerate. It should be something that drives you — to become the person you should be, to give everything you can.

Valentine’s Day has become a huge commercialized un-holiday across the Western world. From simple origins, this day has become the biggest gift-giving occasion after Christmas in the U.S.

As with other “holidays” (Halloween for example), Jamaica has followed suit. Shortly after the Christmas decorations are taken down, stores transform into explosions of red, white and pink. The newspapers are currently filled with ads for Valentine’s Day shows, concerts, dinners, and gift ideas.

Along side the growth of Valentine’s Day, there has been the underground movement of Anti-Valentine’s. Organized groups like Black Hearts Party have created an actual sub-culture, with events and merchandise (hmm, imagine that) to commemorate their disgust.

Their manifesto describes Valentine’s Day as ‘an arbitrary, artificial holiday‘ that ‘should serve as the official manifestation of love between all people of all types everywhere‘ where ‘those countless varieties of people, in all their diversity, should conform to preset behaviors and activities when demonstrating their love on this day, should all think in exactly the same way, which, coincidentally enough, is also the same way the executives at Hallmark and the Disney Corporation think.’ They rebel against being ‘forced [...] to celebrate the bright, sunny, sugar-coated, synthetic side of love‘ and instead choose to ‘celebrate the dark, grim reality‘. Their mission: to propagate the truth about love.
If you’re sick of the forced sentimentality of Valentine’s (or maybe just bitter that you have no one to feel soppy about), then you have probably considered having an anti-Valentine’s party. Here are some tips for you:

• Date: Well, stick with the obvious to make your point. February 14th it is.
• Venue: Avoiding cozy romantic restaurants is a start unless your goal is the piercing glares of couples disturbed by the maniacal cackling. Otherwise go for anywhere you can shut out the rest of world and focus on your party.
• Time: Unfortunately, this year’s Valentine’s Day falls on a weekday so the working people may find it difficult to take the whole day. But having it after work ours will allow them to build up a good stock of bitterness after being surrounded by all the red and white clad office workers.
• Guest list: This is usually pretty easy. Those of your friends who have been single for a long time or are newly single are usually good prospects. To widen the scope you may include those people in long-distance relationships or with impending break-ups (though let them imply it, do not suggest it). Couples are strictly forbidden at these events.
• Dress code: Traditionally, black works well here but anything that is not in the red, white or pink family will do. Alternatively, shirts with snarky anti-love statements would also be appropriate.
• Decorations: If you’re looking to really stick with your theme, black is your colour for the night. Red can be incorporated via blood and broken hearts. Dead or wilting flowers can add to the ambiance.
• Refreshments: Wine and chocolates are definitely out. Aim to keep the romance factor out of your mouths for this event. Stick with gritty real food items like beer and chips. Anything that will encourage belching will aid in entertainment.
• Entertainment: This is where it gets fun. Use your creativity. Horror films where the cute couple gets killed are great for morale. Any movie where murders happen on Valentine’s Day is good for a laugh. Mix it up. Drinking games involving the foibles of exes can serve multiple purposes. Check out this great list of ideas if you want to get really involved.

A conscious choice

made daily

by each

to stay

because

life is better

with

than without